This is just a quick dashing off of some things I’ve been thinking about. I wanted to call it “coffee thoughts” as part of that blog series on this blog, but it wouldn’t be honest. My 21-year-old kid brother just let me out of our 4.1 year-long teetotaler pact (it was my rash idea, which I much regretted many a time). Anyways, I’m drinking wine right now, not coffee.
So here goes:
“It is more important that Heaven exists, than that we should ever get there.”
I read that in a book somewhere. It got stuck in my mind, because, oddly enough, it is true. That there is a place where all is right, pure and happy and beautiful, full of people whose hearts are whole and whose laughter is full of trust and peace… where the aching beauty that the morning mist on the wooded hills hints at, is finally fulfilled… [hmm, i suspect these “wine thoughts” will not be as clearly-written as “coffee thoughts”]. Well, that those people exist and that that place exists, matters so much, somehow.
Of course we want to get there too. But the most important thing is that it exists. It gladdens the heart somehow, takes away a certain type of throbbing pain, when you wake up in middle of the night and wonder if it is all vacuum and void.
For example — even though I get jealous ALOT because I’m selfish, at the same time, even when it makes me jealous, it makes some part of me (near the core of my being) really, really happy when I learn of the existence of people falling in love and being faithful and having babies and playing with the kids in the sunlight and the trees. It is a solid, full kind of happiness too, a kind of happiness akin to drinking water on a hot day –not eating a fudgesicle and being all sticky and thirsty afterwards.